Validate Your Parking, Please.

You know you’re watching the death-throes of humanity when even the wounded amongst us are engaged in sanctimonious pissing contests over their suffering.  Is there an algorithm for determining the validity of ones suffering? Perhaps we could tally up the number of wounds per year and divide it by our age then times it by the percentage of physical loss of consortium then divide that by our genetic resilience.  Yeah, ridiculous right? And yet we still see ignorant self-absorbed egoists harp on with ‘my wound is bigger than yours’ in some futile attempt to garner the lion’s share of sympathy.

The thing is, all suffering is subjective because it’s dependent on expectations.  The same external stimuli experienced by two different people can result in vastly different reactions depending on the expectations held by the individual.

If I was in an accident and was given a blood transfusion it wouldn’t be a problem at all and yet for someone with certain religious beliefs this would be hugely traumatic.  It is the violation of their beliefs that resulted in the trauma, not the event.

The only way to avoid trauma is to care about nothing which is a terrible (if not impossible) way to live.  So why then do we shit on the experiences of others and dismiss their suffering because, in our opinion, it’s no big deal? Our pains and journeys are our own and as such are incomparable to that of others.

We see younger people absolutely distraught over the end of a two-month relationship and scoff at their pain as though it’s insignificant, we see some men dismiss the suffering of women who are catcalled and inundated with sexual solicitations simply because they have no understanding of what it is to be objectified, to be reduced to the keeper of something they want.

How quickly we forget that the very same lack of humanity we express in such judgments was present when we suffered our own wounds.  It seems suffering is no guarantee of empathy.

10 thoughts on “Validate Your Parking, Please.

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  1. I had this conversation with someone recently, most especially your last paragraph. The judgement rather than empathy… a collective kind of narcissism that seems to thrive in our culture now, and cyber culture.
    This is a great write, thanks for sharing

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much. I completely agree. I see it a lot with the reaction to the #metoo movement where some seem unable or unwilling to afford a shred of compassion almost like by doing so it strips them of something. Those with the least security in their value fight most viciously to defend it.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It is very tragic. And very concerning. And kind of ironic, in an alarming way – if their own trauma creates this heartlessness, then what does that say about the perpetrator of the crime? Is it trauma as well? Apparently, it often is. Shouldn’t we be looking at the bigger picture here then, to break cycles, instead of getting into these bizarre competitions?

        Liked by 1 person

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