My Love Affair With Inspiration

I’ve been thumbing the pages of my mind and find you everywhere. When you broke in you sure made yourself at home.

Footprints litter every surface, smudges of you tell me you’ve found your way into my inner sanctuary — I hope you like the decor. It’s purposefully dark as I prefer a tactile experience, one where pain and bliss are known by the same name, borne of the same wound.

You realise you’re seeing God in there right? The creator of all that I am, that room is my womb, my birthplace (and aptly bloody). It’s there I dip my brush to paint my world and as I do so I feel your hand slip over mine, guiding my brushstrokes to broaden and include imagery my eyes have never seen.

I remember the last time you came. I didn’t even hear you approach until you were upon me. Startled but obedient I gave myself to you, allowing you to envelop my being.

I felt the heat of you as you pulled in close to my back, your lips so close to my ear I felt your breath graze my cheek. Your voice, falling on piqued skin like summer rain, welcomed and wet, offered guidance. Our singular arm painted arcs of colour across the canvas, the thickness of which reflect the pressure of your influence. I surrendered ownership of my limbs just as I did my heart, my mind, my world and afforded you full reign.

I tilted my head back to rest on your shoulder and your other arm formed a cocoon. And whilst I feigned rest, in truth I just wanted to catch a glimpse of the angel that sits on your lips, spilling delight every time you speak.

“There” you said with satisfaction and nodded toward the canvas. I stole my eyes away from your face and captured the canvas — realising that once again you’d caused me to create truth and beauty.

That painting now hangs in a gallery where others are ohhh’ing and ahh’ing at my skill. I can’t tell them that I was just the holder of the brush and that you, inspiration, you are the true artist.

9 thoughts on “My Love Affair With Inspiration

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      1. When I poured out my heart on this platform – as you are doing – I entered into a very terrifying experience. But…God is with me. You undeniably have a powerful gift: it is God-given and needs to be nurtured with great and humble care. Above all, guard your heart. Where-ever you are at this point, God “desires truth in the inmost being…” He made you because He loves you. He also wants you to honor Him.

        I am truly sobered by the power of the gift He has entrusted to you.

        Jesus knows what He is doing…

        I don’t come on this platform often, but I’m glad I dropped in momentarily.

        Take…care.

        Like

      2. Thank you for the kindness of your reply.

        I don’t believe in the god anymore.
        I do believe in my ability to create amazing things from the rubble of my destruction.
        I do believe in my ability to decide right from wrong.
        I do believe in my willingness to be honest with myself.
        I do believe in my value in spite of my universal insignificance.
        I do believe in love in spite of the overwhelming lack of it in society.
        I do believe I can live a purposeful life without the need for eternal punishment or reward.
        I do believe that every person has the right to believe in whatever they choose.
        I live to honour only myself, to make beautiful what was broken in the spirit of kintsukuroi so that I might contribute in a meaningful way toward the thriving of humanity.

        Liked by 1 person


      3. If you stay there, all you will ever know is your limited “ability to create amazing things from the rubble of [your own] destruction.

        You will be your own god…and find out, in time, how very far your abilities fall short of His Dream for you…

        The clock ticks. Thank God, it still…ticks…and…talks…

        Warm regards…

        Like

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